Bliss

There is, somewhere out there, a type of bliss.

The leaves expecting rain. The flying geese, the roving ships in shoreless seas, the running living, chattering clouds of words and thoughts that gird the infinite outer space. The vacillation of the air and the unseen noise that pierces the Universe. The whisper of the World and the rhythmic mantra of God.

There is, somewhere out there, a type of bliss. A pair of wings, an embrace, a yearning.

I walk along the gray London streets, under this crooked sky and my soul soars somewhere above that which is visible. I feel the pulse below me, the unbridled elements gathering speed and strength for an explosion… and all memories become One. All streets I have walked on become one, all winds, beaches and sunrises become one. All my 'I's become one. I gather myself through time and space and become one. And in this wholeness I am the Universe and I know, in this moment-eternity, I know.

Every passing thought-arrow possesses my being and transforms it into itself. And I am simultaneously the flower and the cloud and the grass. I am one with the whole, and the sky descends to me, while the horizon is within reach. I touch creation with eyes and soul. I hear the hidden mechanisms, the wheels and belts, the entire skeleton of this Life moving, and their monotonous rhythm suggests peace. This is the sound of bliss, of everything working, of the heart counting the world and continuing so until infinity.

The moment, just for a moment, becomes eternity. And then, only then, a door opens and I take off, I fly and I feel. Then I perceive and I know. Then I connect all that is unconnected, then it is clear and everything has sense, then becomes now and forever.

Then my soul is at unrefined, vibrating and always-moving peace. Then every detail finds its place, every colour symbolic and every breath steeped in warmth. Then I have no borders, no outlines, no traces, then I am the Universe and you and me and them. Then is the meaning of life. Then fire takes over me and soaks me, then life pours into me, then the rivers rise, then I am ancient and young, maid and warrior. Then the whole world is inspired and all the sorrow and happiness are in me. Then I am God and Goddess, then I am mortal and unending. Then I am Devil and Angel. Then.

But this is a moment in the moment and then I return to the dream again, the one which resembles life.

Just for a moment enlightenment pierces me and shakes me from the inside like a current – mortally hard am I connected to this unfeeling mastodon.